Tue - Jul 01, 2008 : 11:48 pm
Welcome Back, Jason.
To have that taken away which is precious to you usually results in one of two things. Either you do what is required to get back what was taken from you, or you devalue the thing which was taken, justifying its absence.
About three years ago, for one reason alone, my Temple recommend was revoked from me and the ensuing years caused me to react pretty much as many ways as were possible to me. From subconsciously devaluing it, to working my tail off to get it back, only to fall short. I did that so many times, it amazes me.
Well... Today was the day I was able to receive it again, and the reaction inside me is simultaneously wonderful and intriguing.
You see, I had been so long without my recommend, I had got to the point long ago that I no longer hungered after being at the Temple. I guess you could say that I got used to not being able to go. And that, my friend, is not a very good place to be.
I've learned a bit more of how the adversary works, and consequently, how to stack up my defenses against him more.
The feeling I have as a result of being worthy once again to enter the Temple of the Lord is wonderful, in that I already feel the Spirit with me on an entirely different level. A level that I was once used to, and enjoyed, but didn't realize I had lost. I have been very active at church, and involved in the scriptures and doing good and such, but I had totally forgotten what it feels like to commune with the Sprit like this. I had no idea I had lost it. I had completely forgotten how this type of spirit feels.
Now that I feel this so potently, I can only imagine how the Temple trip, in my very near future, with my wife will be.
If it feels anything like I feel right now, I'm sure many, many tears will be involved.
Anyway... I figure I've been pretty honest with my journal (and, or) blog up until now, so I figured I'd let ya'll know this, too. Ain't nothing to be ashamed of, and the way I view it, this might just prick the heart of some unsuspecting person into getting his or her recommend back as well.
We're all striving to become perfect, right? Well, so am I. I'm now just able to enjoy the fruits of being worthy to enter the Temple again.
And that, my friends, is such a beautiful thing.
I love my savior, Jesus Christ, with all my heart and can't thank Him enough for allowing me to come back to His house. With tears in my eyes, I say that I'm humbled and filled with gratitude and joy.
I'm anxiously looking forward to the day (which will come in less than a week, for sure) during which I will once again commune with Father's Spirit in His house with my beloved wife.