Continuing in the tradition of weekly fasting, church this week was very enlightening. Sarah and I decided to go to a new "marriage and family" class instead of the usual gospel doctrine lesson, and I'm quite glad we made that decision.
Lately, temple worthiness hasn't meant much to me. There's more to that story, but that's for another day. Suffice it to say, I haven't been to the Temple for awhile.
During the class, the teacher had asked a married couple to tell us about how they feel about Temple attendance and eternal marriage in general.
The sister began by telling us how her husband hadn't grown up in a house which valued religion or spiritual matters at all. She also related to us how they got married civilly before they were able to get sealed.
She then related to the class her feelings about the Temple and how sacred.... how personally sacred to her the experience of her sealing was. It brought tears to my eyes.
The tears came not necessarily due to the words being said, because I've heard over and over again how important the Temple is. I know it's true! But it doesn't bring tears to my eyes each time I hear it.
No... The tears came because I knew she believed what she was saying. She believed it with all her heart, and her life choices proved it.
Sometimes I wonder how much I really believe the things I say, no matter with how much fervor I say them, if my life choices don't reflect the words.
In cases such as this, I believe that I want
to believe them, but there is no way I can actually believe what I say, or what I think, unless my actions prove it.
No matter how many times I say that I believe Temple work is important, unless I'm actively doing Temple work, my words really don't mean much.
Man, hearing her words really hit me. The spirit testified to me with no doubt at all, that she really
believes Temple work is important, and that's what brought the tears. That, and the fact that I have lots of work to do in this respect.
Anyway... Lots of work to do to get to heaven, people. The more I learn, the more I see how deficient I am, and the more I realize that, the more I want to change it.
The problem is . . . It's got
to be more
than a desire