Hmm.... I'm wondering how I can write this entry without offending anyone, so... if you are offended by it, I'm sorry. What is going to be said has to be said, and it will, hopefully, enlighten at least someone.
Due to this wonderful blog, I've been feeling quite pensive lately and liking the change. Midst this change, I asked one of my good friends (who might read this, hence the offense deal at the beginning) to have lunch with me one day. We bickered back and forth a bit with him being "too busy" and me really wanting to spend some time with him, when we came to the accord that he would leave shortly thereafter.
"Good", I thought, as I hopped into my car and started driving..... Well... About 12 minutes later, I called this person and he hadn't left yet, and told me it probably wasn't going to happen as he casually said "sorry, man." with me feeling little sincere apology at all.
This infuriated me.
This particular person happens to be one of the most brilliant, helpful, honestly altruistic, sincerely good people I know. But he also happens to be 1 of 2 people in my life who flake on committment more than anyone else. I consider him to be one of my best friends.
Now comes the question "What is 'friendship', anyway"?
My first thought turns toward the fact that I'm married, and I love who I married. I also happen to like her quite a bit as well. Why? Honestly, the number 1 reason I love her so much (and like her, too) is because she treats me like #1 in her life. The few things I ask of her, she usually does with little resistance, and does it when requested.... usually... She's not perfect, but she's more perfect than me, so... I'm good there. Anyway...
Things like "trust" and "love" and "communication" and "respect" are all good things in marriage / friendship / yourself, but when I hunker down and really get to thinking why I love my wife so much, I really think it comes down to 2 things, in daily life.
- She treats me *really* good. She's happy, she enjoys my company, she wants to be around me, she treats me well.
- She comes through with the things that are important to me.
And that, I think, is where the problem with this friend stems from..... One other example.
I have another friend, who shall remain nameless, but he's on the other end of the spectrum. He has *always* been there for me. We do lunch, as well, and when we say we're gonna do lunch, we do lunch. No worries about whether he'll show up or whatever. I know without a doubt that if I called this person, in some need, at *ANY
* hour, he would stop, drop, and roll, baby. I cherish this friend most dearly.
So.... I dunno....
I just wanted to analyze my feelings a bit and see if I'm blowing things out of proportion or not. This is just the tip of the iecberg of what I wanted to write, but I don't really wanna get too much into it anymore.
If anything, by writing this, I understand a bit more about what's important to me, in my friendships.